Sandy, Sandy Hook, and everything after

I'm feeling much better. I gained about six or seven pounds and they gave me life. It's funny, such a seemingly simple thing: my hips plumped up, I got the smallest of pudges on my belly, my ribs disappeared under a layer of fleshiness...I gained a dress size, a cup size.... And all my endurance came back and no small measure of well being. People with EDS are always warned against being too heavy, but in my experience it is far more damaging to be too light. Muscle is everything too us. It holds us together. From my lowest point, which was during Superstorm Sandy which knocked out our electricity for a week and left our house at 50 degrees till now, I feel so much better.

About the shooting in Newton, CT, I just have this to say. Events like this take place in a soup of favorable conditions, so its never just as simple as "gun control" or "mental health." Would that it was. Criminality of this kind arises from profound suffering.

It's true that assualt rifles should not be available to the general public and mental health services need to be expanded, but more importantly, why are some people (men) burning with a silent, dangerous rage? Why are they so discontent that they must vent their anger not only on themselves but on others in the most violent, unimaginable way? What message is in the anger? There is one there.

On a lighter note, as part of my New Year's resolutions I've decided to start a lingerie blog. I've been addicted to bras and lingerie blogs lately for several reasons: my frequent shifts in size, the fact that local stores never carry my size no matter what size I am and most of all, the strange fact that I always need to wear a bra due a muscle imbalance in my back. Due to my neck instability, my back can't seem to support the weight of my chest, even though my chest is pretty small. For that reason I'm constantly in search of better fitting, more supportive bras. Bras have become, in effect, an assistive device for me. And blogs are a great way to audition new styles before I spend my money. I especially like Undiegamer, Venusian Glow, Braless in Brazil and Invest in your Chest.

My sister who is forever frank said, "Don't do it. Creepos are gonna masturbate to you." I assured her I wouldn't be showing my face, but she said that my websit would end up on some perp's computer when the authorites dumped it, along with the kiddie porn. I started to argue, but what do you say to that?

In any case, once it's underway I'll find someway to let everyone here know and still maintain some degree of anonymity.